stop the comparison game & fall in love with your life.
I visited a friend in Williamsburg for lunch a few weeks ago. We ate homemade gluten-free grilled cheese sandwiches and caught up on life while her 2 year old son entertained us with his sweet talk and giggles. I watched Zoro as he found it incredibly satisfying to carry around his stuffed animal puppy or flip through his book about trucks. I was captivated; I personally find it hard not be captivated by toddlers. They are so present and so excited about their little worlds. Never do they sit around wishing they were somewhere else, with someone else, or more like someone else. They are simply who they are and they are totally cool with that.
What’s even more remarkable is that they believe they can do just about anything. Another friend of mine was recounting an experience with her brazen niece. It was pouring rain and little Sarah wanted to play on the swing set. She was told playing outside in the rain wasn’t a good idea or fun really. “I’ll just wear my raincoat,” she said quite matter-of-fact. The rain didn’t matter to her and she thoroughly enjoyed her time in the downpour. Most of us look at a rainy day as a reason to stay indoors; a child sees it as an adventure.
Um, can I be more like that?
These experiences and stories remind me that as adults we often hold ourselves back from being present to the beauty in our lives. As someone faced with the hustle of NYC and a view into the lives of hundreds of people on social media, I get caught up comparing my life to others. I find myself feeling completely jealous of the yoga instructor who gets to travel the world; the couple that appears so in love they could easily fit into a romantic comedy; or the glamourous shoe collection of so many gorgeous fashion bloggers.
Exposure to these other lifestyles can be inspiring, sure. But most often we find ourselves looking at our own lives as mediocre in comparison–am I right? And when we arrive in this mindset over and over again, we start to believe we–and our lives–are not good enough, cool enough, or adventurous enough.
We compulsively overlook the simple beauty that is present in every moment: the feeling of being tucked under a warm blanket with your boyfriend or girlfriend; the fact that Central Park is pretty much in your backyard; or the joy that arises from creating an absolutely delicious meal.
When we focus on the ways in which we live incredibly blessed lives, we are able to pull ourselves out of the habit of comparison and start to feel satisfied with what we have right now. After all, it’s by being present in the NOW, that we find joy. Not when our minds are off wandering into the photos of other people’s lives.
Naturally, most of us in the western world are wired to strive for more in life, to birth greater desires and wishes with each passing year. We should absolutely not deny those aspirations as they are key to our personal growth and expansion. However, it’s important to remind ourselves to come home to what is present in our lives right now and savor it. The best way to do this is to look at life through the eyes of a child.
Get curious about your surroundings. Take off your headphones when you walk down the street so that you can take note of everything that surrounds you. Feel how the leaves crunch under your feet, how the air smells, or how lively or peaceful your neighborhood is.
Notice how it feels to be with the people you love. Really see them. How your mom’s laugh instantly lightens your mood. How your dad’s strength makes you feel safe. How your old college friend always holds a non-judgmental space for you to vent. How your partner’s hugs are the best thing on earth.
Take note of how awesome YOU are. What have you accomplished and overcome recently? How are you a great friend, partner, daughter, son, co-worker? How have you created adventure in your life? Seriously, write it all down and refer to it often.
I promise, your heart is sure to fill up with love and appreciation as you finally see what is really sitting right in front of you–so much beauty it can’t be contained.
So instead of waking up each morning and immediately diving into social media and email, put your phone aside, sit up, and be present to where you are. What do you admire about this moment? Isn’t it amazing that this new day is a completely fresh start? What kind of person do you want to be today? Simply channel your inner child 🙂
“Everyday, think as you wake up, ‘today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.’ ” – Dalai Lama
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