why are you really setting those new years resolutions?
I’ve spent the past six days down in Little Silver, NJ at my parents’ house. Arriving here to finally celebrate Christmas with my family always feels like a big cozy hug. I can forget about all of my adult responsibilities and revert back to being held in a loving space free of worry or stress.
All I need to do is be present and enjoy moments spent snuggling on the couch with my sister, decorating the tree with my mom, or taking a long drive with my dad. I see my aunts, uncles, grandma and cousins at the annual Christmas Eve party, exchange presents on Christmas day, and visit old friends from high school. It’s a total holiday ritual that gets repeated every year and I love it.
Before taking the train from Penn Station down here, I set the intention to completely relax and that I did. I slept in, sat in front of our fireplace every night, watched too many Christmas movies, drank red wine, ate dessert, and hung out with my parents and sister about 80% of the time. There was part of me that kept nagging “do something productive,” like going for a run or writing loads of blog posts. But I didn’t. Ha! Admittedly, I feel equally good and guilty about it. C’est la vie.
I’m hyper aware that this year will come to a close in just a few days and I’ve been thinking about what I want to accomplish on 2015, as I’m sure everyone is. I usually start this process thinking about how much money I want to make, the trips I want to take, the level of success I hope to accomplish in my business. And then it evolves into thinking about why I want those things.
I want to make six figures because I want be free. I want to feel secure. I want to feel at peace. I want to feel at ease.
I want to take a trip to Thailand because I want to go on an adventure. I want to explore a culture that’s different. I want to immerse myself in a world that changes my point of view. I want to feel alive. I want to feel excited. I want to feel enlightened.
I want to coach over 100 clients because I want to help people end their struggle with health and happiness. I want to change lives. I want to wake people up. I want to feel like I’m making a difference. I want to feel full. I want to feel purposeful.
When we know our “why,” we discover what our deepest desires are. At the root of every resolution, there is a feeling we hope to experience as a result. It was Danielle LaPorte who brought this notion to life in her book The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals with Soul, and boy, is her book amazing. Inside, Danielle shows us how to identify what she calls our “core desired feelings.” These are usually 4-6 things we want to feel in our lives everyday.
This past year, mine were:
FREE
DESIRED
PEACEFUL
BRIGHT
FEARLESS
The point of noting these core desires is so we take actions aligned with them. For example, we choose to do things or create experiences that bring us more peace, make us feel sexy, or fill us with excitement. They are our guideposts to the happiness we seek in each of our New Years resolutions. As I look back on 2014, I definitely felt all of those feelings and many of the decisions I made were based on wanting to feel at least one of them!
As I consider the 12 months ahead of me, these are the feelings that rise to the surface currently. They will most definitely change and evolve as the year gets in motion. Some of them remain the same and that’s not unusual.
EXHILARATED
ABUNDANT
PURPOSEFUL
CERTAIN
DESIRED
When you consider 2015, dig a little deeper into your resolutions. Why do you want to lose weight? Why do you want to fall in love? Why do you want to change your job? What is the feeling you’re after? Shining a light on this personal truth will not only tell you more about your truest of true desires in life, but you’ll be able to use those feelings as your foundation as you make decisions over the next set of fresh 365 days.
How do you want to feel? Please share your thoughts on the comments below!
