the first book to change my life.
I’m a personal development junkie. There are so many authors and speakers in this world that inspire me to be more present, remind me to be grateful, and help me move through fear every single day. I thank God/Goodness/The Universe for the fateful moment, almost 10 years ago, that I stumbled upon my very first self-help book.
At the time, I had recently gotten in a fight with my then boyfriend about my irrational jealousy. He had made a new friend at work–a girl. And upon hearing this, heat, tightness, judgement, and fear immediately rose up into my chest. I felt myself put up a protective barrier as he told me stories about her and how cool she was. Why is he making friends with girls at work? OMG, he’s totally cheating on me! My thoughts bounced out of control. Doubt, distrust, and sadness filled me up so much that there was no room for my true loving self to say a word. I was consumed. The evening ended in a serious conversation and he told me I had to “work on” this jealously thing, otherwise it was a “deal-breaker.” Sheesh! I guess I should do something about this. I realized.
Jealousy was an emotion I struggled with throughout my childhood. I thought it was part of who I was, never considering it was something I could control or change. My fear of losing my boyfriend inspired me to take action and get curious about this feeling. After all, I always felt guilty after I let the jealous beast get the better of me. So one day, I decided to hit up Barnes & Noble. As I was scanning the newly released books, I picked up one with an orange cover. A New Earth: Awakening Your Life’s Purpose, by Eckhart Tolle. I flipped over to the back and read…
“Tolle describes how our attachment to the ego creates the dysfunction that leads to anger, jealousy, and unhappiness, and shows readers how to awaken to a new state of consciousness and follow the path to a truly fulfilling existence.”
Boom. I bought it immediately. And soon learned that the jealous feeling that would suddenly dominate my whole being was not who I truly was. It no longer defined me and I was able to gain a brand new outlook on that part of myself. With practice, I was able to control the expression of jealousy and instead create space between me and it in those moments where I felt it rise up. This resulted in lessened feelings of jealousy overall, and allowed me to have much better relationships in the future.
This one discovery was just the beginning. Today, I have read countless books, experienced guided meditations, and attended events with some of the most powerful spiritual leaders in the world–all of which have contributed to the awareness I now have of my inner world. I am so grateful for the wake up call I got back in 2005, in a terribly uncomfortable argument with someone I cared about. Who knows how long it would have taken me to make this discovery had he not shined a light on something I didn’t see. Truly, every relationship is a powerful resource for realizing our areas for growth and transformation.
As someone who wants everyone to experience shifts in consciousness, I’ve put together a list of my favorite books to help with that very thing. Enjoy!
A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson
Daring Greatly by Brenee Brown
Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn
The Fire Starter Sessions by Danielle LaPorte
The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer
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