the benefits of going with the flow.

When life gives you lemons–or a giant hole in your ceiling–you have two choices. Be sour or be solution-oriented. On Sunday evening, I chose to be solution-oriented, with a side of “you’ve got to be kidding me.” I had just spent a lovely, long 4th of July weekend at the beach with lots of loved ones. I was feeling grateful to have spent a few sweet nights with family, drinking wine, laughing, and enjoying the incredible weather. And I was looking forward to arriving back at my apartment to unpack, ground myself, and prepare for a full week at work.

After a long train and subsequent subway ride, it felt great to only be steps away from my cute little abode, nestled near Riverside Park. There was a breeze and the sun was starting to set. “Gosh, I love living here,” I thought. I walked up my usual two flights of stairs, my shoulder aching from carrying a heavy bag full of summer-wear, and stuck my key in the lock. I entered and immediately saw chunks of gray matter on my floor. Blissful feelings disappeared in a flash. I quickly looked to my right, into the bathroom, and literally gasped at the sight of it. My entire ceiling had collapsed into my shower, onto my sink, and all over the floor. There was not a trace of the black and white tile below. I could see pipes and the wooden floor of the apartment above me.  “What the $&*@??!!!” was the only thing I could say aloud. Seriously? How did this happen?

I took a deep breath.

I had a choice. I could call people and freak out, venting about this crazy situation, OR I could remain calm and collected and just handle it. I chose the latter. Luckily, I have a landlord who answers his phone on the weekends and called him immediately, kindly explaining the insane damage I had just walked into. He was on it, and going to send someone over to clean up the piles of debris that night. I then called my boyfriend, and while on the phone was summoned by one of my neighbors who overheard my conversation through the door (creepy? kinda). I stepped out into the hall, and before I even had a chance to say hello, the wind blew my door shut and locked me out (yes, my door automatically locks upon closing, and yes, I just figured out how to stop that from happening!).

I was livid inside. I wanted to scream and cry and stamp my feet. I could have easily blamed my neighbor for being nosey, telling him that he should have minded his own business, etc. But I chose to stay calm… I mean, at least I had my cell phone, right? The rest of the night was a series of inconveniences, coupled with incredible kindness from my neighbors and my boyfriend. But ultimately, everything worked out just fine. Believe it or not, I already have a new ceiling and the mess is gone.

This experience tested me in many ways. Yet, the work I’ve done to have awareness around my response to life’s dramas is what truly allowed me to handle it with grace. I was even able to find things to be grateful for, despite the laughable disaster of it all. For example, I was forced to connect with and be vulnerable in front of my neighbors who are pretty much strangers. But they were so kind and helpful–bringing me water and a snack, letting me use their bathroom. Being present to that made me so appreciative for the literal angels that were there to cushion this double blow. Had I not chosen to stay present and go with the flow, I would probably have missed the beauty that was right there in front of me … basic human kindness and decency in action.

Most of all, I was truly saved by my boyfriend, who had a spare key and a place to stay. It’s so comforting to know that there are people you can call on when in need, and they show up for you in a big way. When you allow these inconveniences and discomforts to just happen and be what they are, you open yourself up to witness amazing things and recognize how lucky you really are (even when you have no idea when you’ll be able to shower or pee in your bathroom again). Choosing to go with the flow–and find your calm in the storm–truly results in a much better outcome than resisting what’s happening. Resistance not only upsets you more, but also usually winds up upsetting everyone around you too.

Life is full of trials and tribulations, but you always can choose how you respond. That is the only thing that’s ever in our control, so we might as well practice. The next time you find yourself in a crappy situation, take a breath, and ask yourself “what’s the best way to respond to this?” Consider that for a moment, and then act. You may find that going with the flow is actually a lot easier than you may have thought. And each time your choose to respond calmly, with understanding, and straight up acceptance that sometimes shit happens, it becomes easier and easier to control your own reaction.

If you like this post or found it helpful, please comment right below the photo above. I’d love to hear from you! Thanks for reading 🙂