why moving through fear is the key to growth.

A few weeks ago, I stood on stage in front of over 1,000 people and spoke for 10 minutes. I memorized my speech, advanced my own powerpoint slides (um, not as easy as it sounds!), and felt a true sense of peace and appreciation for that moment. This was my 4th time speaking for Integrative Nutrition, the school that I work for, and each time has shown me that I don’t need to worry so much beforehand. Yes, it’s slightly terrifying to have thousands of people staring at you. But it’s also totally empowering. And the act of doing something scary despite your fearful, anxious thoughts is what actually makes it slightly easier every time.

When I got the opportunity to manage a team almost 2 years ago, I was scared. I was going to be exposed to the people that run my company. No longer would I get to hide behind my manager; she was moving on. I felt like my security blanket was slipping away. I had to step up and be the leader I wanted to be all along. Suddenly, space cleared for me so that I could move into a role that I was ready for. And of course, when that space cleared, I thought “Wait! I’m not ready yet.” But truly, are we ever ready for what comes in life? I’ve learned that we’re not.

And when that new role required that I speak at an event in front of our students and graduates, my stomach flipped. I had never really spoken publicly for more than 1-2 minutes. How could I pull this off? Fear, doubt, a wanting to run away… it all flooded in. But there was a stronger, more determined part of me who wanted to do it anyway, who believed in me, who knew this was an amazing chance to see what I was really made of. So I went for it, practiced my butt off, memorized my speech, and made myself vulnerable on a big stage at Jazz at Lincoln Center.

My heart was racing as I sat alone behind stage. I wished I had someone there to comfort me, give me a pep talk, but then I realized I could do that for myself. And I walked out there present, heart racing, and held that mic up to my lips and spoke with authenticity, with love, and with pride. It went by in a flash and I felt liberated, grateful that I didn’t let the little voice anxious voice inside of me win.

I grew tremendously that day because it wasn’t only the first time that I’d spoken, but it was the first time I’d pushed myself alone through something that truly terrified me. I didn’t have my mom, my dad, my boyfriend, my best friends there to tell me how amazing I’d do. I had me and that was truly all I needed. The courage to just do something that scared me anyway taught me that I truly am capable of whatever I choose to be.

There’s a quote I love that says: There is no comfort in the growth zone, and no growth in the comfort zone. When you’re uncomfortable, uncertain, fearful, anxious… unless it’s a life or death situation, that means you have an opportunity to grow if you allow it. Don’t hide, don’t run, just do it anyway.